Who am I?

Last week I discovered that I am 36% gay; now, according to the what sex is your brain? test, I have learnt that I have the brain of a girl (and if I don’t get down the gym more often, I’ll soon have the breasts of a girl too). I did well at the tests that women are generally good at: distinguishing between subtle hints and details, and having a good visual memory. I failed dismally at the tests that involve seeing things in three dimensions and being able to imagine how things rotate.

Feeling a little confused about my gender and sexuality, I set off to try and figure out the ‘true me’.

Next stop at the BBC’s Mental Gym was the Emotional IQ test. Thankfully things were starting to look up, and I scored 72 — which according to the test means I have a high Emotional IQ:

You know yourself enough to identify exactly what you are feeling when you are feeling it, and you recognize the value of this self-awareness. You are self-confident and aren’t likely to let setbacks and failures wear you down. You are able to manage your emotions and impulses quite well. You have a good sense of what others are feeling, and have well developed social skills.

Hmmm, well I should hope so, having a psychologist for a father and a psychotherapist for a mother…

All that namby-pamby stuff about feelings is all well and good, but what about more manly, practical matters? The Common Sense Quiz was my chance to find out. Despite going “Uh?” at the firefighter question, I still scored a testosterone-filled 12; apparently I have keen common sense:

You seem to master the commonly-known facts and have an excellent general understanding of the world around you. You must be the delight of every conversation — you have an ace in your pocket regardless of the topic. If you think of intelligence as an ability to adapt adequately in relatively new situations, then you’re at the top of the charts.

I like that. My self-esteem was starting to return, so I moved on to the Verbal IQ Test, where I scored 15, which makes me a word whiz, with a very high verbal IQ:

You’ve probably read lots and are likely to be well aware of the numerous advantages of expressing yourself in a precise manner both in writing and orally.

Had there been an Attention to Detail Test, the BBC’s Flash designers wouldn’t have done too well — the third page in the Common Sense Quiz contained the blurb from the Emotional IQ Test. And surely they could have made the results text selectable…

So now I had found out that I’m a brain on legs with some unresolved gender issues, I thought I’d give my personality a more rigorous going-over with the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. After answering some 70 questions, I was told I have the temperament of an Idealist (NF). It seems that all Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

• Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
• Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
• Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
• Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self–always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are rare, making up no more than 8 to 10 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

So now I’m clearly a leader, one of the elite, with a brain to match. But it doesn’t quite make up for my being a guy who’ll end up dressing in ladies’ underwear by the time he’s 40.

But how would I do in a more back-to-basics situation, when men were real men? What sort of person would I have been had I lived in Medieval times? A snivelling little peasant, or the menacing and cool Black Knight? There was only one way to find out — I had to take the Kingdomality Personal Preference Profile! Well, according to the test, in Medieval times I would have been a Benevolent Ruler:

Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today’s corporate kingdoms.

Well, I’d rather have been an Merciless Ruler, torturing those surfs that couldn’t pay my taxes, and generally swanning around in black armour when I wasn’t busy drinking meade and having my wicked way with the serving wenches, but you have to admit, that’s pretty cool nevertheless!

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