Give with pride

What’s the best way to show your support for America liberating the world from itself? Personally, I feel that some old fashioned “God Bless America” objets d’art go a long way towards showing solidarity. Of course it would be easy to make patriotic ornaments seem a little tacky, but I’ve scoured the web to find you the classiest items available:

First up, courtesy of the Patriotic Collectibles Shop, is the ‘Lord Bless This Marine’ Figurine. Goodness, I’m typing with tears in my eyes and one hand on my chest already. Then there’s the life-like Marine Toddler Doll:

He can’t wait until he’s old enough to join “The few, the proud, the Marines,” just like his Dad and his Granddad before him. One look at this little “Devil Pup” and it’s clear he’s already got what it takes!

Apparently they haven’t yet released their ‘Iraqi Toddler Doll’ with detachable limbs though. Now, what mantelpiece would be complete without a lovely ‘In God We Trust’ Ornament? Or perhaps you prefer the stirring ‘Let’s Roll’ mixed-media figurine. I know, I’m torn myself…

What child could possibly resist the adorable ‘Sammy Bearmerican’ pledging allegiance. And for the grown-up folks, there’s hours of fun to be had with the Talking President George W. Bush Doll (press a button and hear him utter 17 ‘powerful and patriotic phrases’).

With merchandise of this quality, do we really need a parody site? Perhaps not, but Flag-O-Rama! is rather funny, with “patriotic items for fanatical flagwavers”, including the Hammer of Justice, the All-American Toothbrush and Tampons of Glory:

Let freedom flow with these specially-designed American Flag tampons. They’re great for those times where protection is a must: baking apple pies, leading church activities, or walking down the beach at sunset with your daughter having one of “those talks”. It’s the most all-American thing any woman could ever use…period!

Hmm, perhaps not so far-fetched when you consider one company did produce ‘Little Patriots’ diapers after the WTC attacks…

Alternatively, if you really do have a bit of money to spare, you could always donate to The Limbless Association fund for children rendered amputees by the Iraq conflict or to the British Red Cross Iraq Crisis Appeal.

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