Neuticles
For some reason Jon & Lynda have yet to take up my offer of neutering their dog using a couple of half-bricks, and instead keep going on about retiring on the proceeds of their mutt’s pedigree love seed. Still, I think deep down they’re just worried about little Reuben’s self-esteem should he lose his plums. That’s why I’m going to suggest they get him castrated and then invest in some Neuticles, testicular implants for pets. Not only are Neuticles available in two models: NeuticleOriginals (rigid firmness) and NeuticleNatural (natural firmness), but they also come in five sizes. Can you imagine how good he’d feel about himself if his tiny Spaniel knackers were replaced by some bitch-impressing Great Dane-size gonads? And if Jon and Lynda can’t afford the full price, Neuticals can be bought individually as well as as a pair. Hmm… kind of tempted to upgrade my own, thinking about it….
You bring the Neuticles & I’ll provide the bricks! We could make a full evening of it & light the bbq - what kind of marinade would go well with dog testes do you think?
Jon, seek professional help. Now. Oh, and I think a spicy tomato sauce would go nicely…
After willingly eating a Frank burger (with egg as I recall) you’ve got no room to be fussy about where your meat comes from.
That dodgy extra protein made me the man I am today… er, puny and sickly. Point taken.