How I forced Blunkett to resign
Hurrah! That deranged wanker’s gone!
There’s no point in me displaying false modesty; clearly it was World of Badger that forced David Blunkett to resign (or for the Sun readers, It Was Badger Wot Done It). Let’s examine the evidence:
- November 25th: I announce my intention to stop Blunkett with my David Blunkett Voodoo Doll.
- November 27th: allegations emerge that Blunkett used his position to fast-track Ms Quinn’s nanny’s visa application.
- November 28th: Tony Blair expresses his “full confidence” in Draconian Dave — pretty much the kiss of death really.
- December 13th: yet again Blunkett’s lies are revealed to be scaremongering bullshit; the peace protestors that were stopped at RAF Fairford under anti-terrorism laws turned out not to be armed with “cudgels and swords” as he had previously stated. They were in fact armed with kites.
- Today: David Blunkett resigns at 6pm. Voodoo 1, Mad Politician 0.
So now I’ve demonstrated the forces of black magic, the question is, who’s next? Which corrupt, right-wing government minister shall next feel the power of the World of Badger Doll of Voodoo? Simon phoned in the adverts during the Simpsons to congratulate me and to put in an early vote for Blair. But there are so many to choose from, and perhaps we should leave the best til last…? I’ve always thought Peter Hain was a smug little turd, and of course there’s old Jack ‘Boot’ Straw, or Geoff ‘Buff’ Hoon. Feel free to nominate your least favourite politician.
I would suggest Kilroy-Silk, but it seems someone’s already on the case…
Great news but are we going to have to wait for Cherie to dish the dirt because there’ll be a war on voodoo before this cabal is removed (Does Tone smoke cigars/like lots and lots of dioxin soup?). Hoon is odds on next to go especially if Rummy gets the shove.